“May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day in paradise.” ~Rumi
Last November, I published a post about how important the little things are in a relationship. I’m back to share five additional little things that keep Eric & me deeply connected, head over heels in love, and grateful for each other...Every. Single. Day.
- Daily reflection: we started writing in these two One Line A Day memory books on January 1, 2013. We each jot down something about our day: a highlight/funny occurrence/tough time/moment of gratitude/anything else we feel compelled to write about, every day for a year. After doing that for a year, we traded journals, and I now write my one-line-a-day directly underneath E's line from a year ago. Because we know the other person is going to read our entry in the following year, we both take time to reflect on what we think will be interesting for the other person to read about in a year from now. We'll continue switching on January 1st for the next three years!
- Love Letters for the Future: on February 14, 2010, we created our first Love Box. In this box, we leave each other letters which can only be opened after a particular date ["1 year from today" or "New Year's Day 2016"], or after a certain event [“we get engaged”,“Eric’s first trip to India,” or "we become parents"]...which the writer specifies on the outside of the sealed envelope. Last Friday [September 19th], I opened a letter E wrote to me on the last day of our honeymoon, exactly a year earlier. He wrote about adventures from our honeymoon that I hadn’t thought about in a loooong time [like the synchronized swimming routine we created!]...and I loved being able to spend a few moments reminiscing about our wonderful time together on Maui. These letters create a fun & unique documentation of our lives. This summer, we upgraded our love box and painted it ourselves! [orange & green, obviously.]
- Weekly Date Nights & The Lovies Book: for two people who have lived together for the better part of the last 74 months [living apart for only 9 of those months], we get to see each other pretty “often”...meaning at least every morning and night, and the whole weekend [except when one of us is traveling]. But it wasn’t until we started our weekly date nights that we realized the difference between spending time together and spending intentional time together. In the year that we’ve been going on weekly dates, we’ve grown, both as individuals and as a couple, exponentially more than the first five years of our relationship...combined. The biggest difference is that we both go into our date nights with the intention of digging deep and having conversations that we might not want to put our energy toward during the rest of the week. With our weekly date nights, we consistently connect on a deep and authentic level, keeping our relationship clear & up-to-date. We created The Lovies Book to reflect on what we eat & do & talk about on each of our date nights...tracking our growth as well as our many adventures! Below you can see some examples of the entries we've made this year which include movie ticket stubs, photos, a putt-putt score card, a lottery scratcher, and lots of washi tape.
- Playing!: E is a huuuuuuge board game fan...we own more than 50 games that range from card games to dice games to tile games to games with meeples to games with ghooosts, etc. and he even wrote a clause about playing board games together into our wedding vows. :) Ever since we started dating, I have loved being introduced to new games...he even got me into Magic the Gathering! Both of us are competitive in that we like to win, but we alsohave tons of fun while playing, so we aren’t poor sports when we lose. Playing games together has become a staple part of our relationship & bonding, and we have undoubtedly played hundreds & hundreds of times together over the years.
- Reading: E used to read to me before we went to sleep, but I'd usually fall asleep to the sound of his soothing voice, so that didn't last long. ;) Now we read together...with our ears. Whenever we drive somewhere more than an hour away, we'll put on whatever audio book we're currently listening to, and we'll get immersed in that world [while continuing to drive very safely...]. It's fun to have the shared experience of learning & imagining as we listen to audio books together...it's like the more mobile version of watching a movie together! We're currently listening to Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind.
To wrap up, I believe that with a BIG commitment to the little things, a relationship can flourish beautifully, and each partner can experience greater joy & connectedness as a result. E & I are coming up with new little things all the time, and it keeps our relationship strong, fun, exciting, and hilarious.
Have any “little things” that you’d like to share? Please comment below!